Turn on The light, O lord .....

Warm greetings to Mother of All Princesses, My fellow Precious Princesses ( for those yet to find their identity ) and not forgetting the Faithful “ Connecter’s Blog “ followers .........

Lo and Behold, the time has come for the ‘Forgiving and Gracious one’( athough some may beg to differ albeit my endless assurance that it is the truth ) to humbly carry this ark of honour to pen down a few words in this highly acclaimed and anointed ‘Connecters ‘ blog. As I sat , pondered and reflected, there isn’t any rocket science ‘enlightenment’ that I wish to share, but instead just to stand in awe of the simple truth and gentle reminder of our First Love .......

A glimpse into the deepest and darkest closet of the humbled Author ........

Past weeks had been a roller coaster journey, sweet memories of mountaintop experiences but yet in the next blink of an eye, the valleys of emotions, confusion and negative thoughts came gushing through. Time and again, in those weakest moments, part of my soul screamed out aloud in frustration, in anger and in despair but yet in the midst of the storm and thunder I barely listened to a whisper .....’ Whose voice am I going to choose to listen to? my emotions or His Truth, my thoughts or His Promises , my reasoning or His Will and Purpose.

As I stumbled through this, I wondered at time .... What have I done, How am I going to carry through, Why the pain .....At one point, I chose not to see the reality. Unconsciously, I developed a defense mechanism to block my pain, suppress my emotions, became withdrawn and passive, turned into a perfectionist to drive myself to succeed in other things to enable me to feel good / worth......I remembered it was my prayer before to search within me, to examine my heart but I came to realize that I was actually refusing to look honestly within for fear of what I’ll find. And the fear of even if I do find, I wouldn’t know how to go about it ......

But I thank God that we have a God who does not want us to have a superficial relationship with Him and also with others. He desires truth and honesty at the deepest level so that we can experience His love, forgiveness, grace and mercy…… And what struck me most is to experience His love does not mean I have to be perfect or spotless in my emotions or thoughts, but to simply be real, feeling pain and happiness, love and frustration, confidence and confusion ....

I was reading about King David and how he was also being honest in expressing his response to different situations .....

1)Anger when abandoned
I say to God my Rock, “ Why have you forgotten me ? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy ? Ps 42 :9

2)Despair in difficult situations
My heart is in anguish within me, fear and trembling has beset me. Horror has overwhelmed me. Ps 55 : 4-7

3)Confused
How long O lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart. Ps 13: 1-2

4)His love
As the deer pants for water, my soul pants for you.

5)Trust in Him
Lord is my light and my salvation .....Whom shall I fear? The Lord is my stronghold. Whom shall I be afraid? Ps 27 :1-3

I thank God that we have a God who delights in us being honest with Him, so that His Holy Spirit can turn on the light within us. A light that will bring transformation from ordinary to the extraordinary. To be an OVER COMER !!!!!!

As I come to a close, I would like to leave this short note which I was blessed ( as an encouragement or challenge ) to all my beloved fellow princesses .....

By little bits of wills,

Little denials of self,

Little inward victories,

By faithfulness in very little things,

With these ‘ unseen ‘ hidden little steps you take everyday,

There is no sudden triumph,

No ( sudden ) spiritual maturity,

Concentrate on obedience, not perfection ........

Goal of Perfection shows how far I have to go, but OBEDIENCE marks how far I have already come.

“ Search me, O God, and know my heart, test me and know every anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting...............” Ps 139 :23-24.

Bless you,

Kareeann

Forgiving and Gracious .....:)